Is it safe? Are the holidays gone yet? Can I come out?

Sheesh, that was hard.

I thought it would grand fun to host the entire family celebration at my little house for Christmas, as well as keep some family for a couple of weeks up until Christmas. It was one party after another and finally ended in tears (my husband cried, anyway).

Party #1 The limo party. I tried selling tickets via email/online invitations. It worked exceptionally well since everyone paid online beofre the deadline. Only problem came when we were faced with selling two tickets that were reserved but didn't pan out. So we invtided a new friend and she said that she had a friend, etc. We thought we had it made.

It turns out that a limo that seats 12-14, really only seats 10 unless you count a tiny little back seat that you have to be teleported into. So, my hubby and I took the little seat and dubbed it "the kitchen" from which we passed out hors d'oevres and drinks. All went well until "friend" and "friend of friend" started groping and licking in the seat in front of us. PUKE! Everyone else had the luxury of not looking at them, but we had a front row seat, er, back row seat.

On the last leg of the journey, we made Gropey and Dopey sit in "the kitchen" where they could clean up whatever they liked, er, licked.

Memo for next time, barf-ola!

Party #2 Christmas Eve. Everyone crowded into the house who wanted to spend the night. Procrastinators went shopping at Walgreens at midnight. That's right! I went along to see how the other half live.

Party # 3 Christmas morning Stockings open with the kids; that is after one kid got reprimanded and sent back to bed by a zealous grown-up at 7:00 am. I served 6 different varieties of quiche.

Then the rest of the relatives arrived and presents started in earnest. Carnage! I can't complain; my husband got me a gorgeous teacup and the thoughtfulness of it made me cry. *sniffles*

Then the 3 hours of Excite Truck (Wii game) that helped some ignore the old people. And finally the bubble bursting period where I reminded people that even though they brough raw ingredients, it was supposed to be a potluck and they had better start cooking their own stuff.

Elfid, where's your wisk? "Hey Elfid, you don't have a roasting pan, you know that? How are you going to make a prime rib roast with no pan?" "Hey Elfid, your kitchen is kind of messy, could you please clean up these dishes?"

So we served an overly amazing dinner, underwhelmingly cold. (Prime rib roast, cranberries, mashed potatoes, roasted savory sweet potatoes, green salad, hot rolls, apple punch, followed by pumpkin cheesecake and coffee.) Next year, I will just cook the whole thing myself and make it much easier on everyone.

Party #whatever The annual sushi party fell on my husband's birthday. He drank a lot of saki, wine and scotch and didn't really show too much damage. He got a paper shredder for his present and did end up hugging it. But I feel that he would have done that totally sober anyway.

Party #45 Open mic night with my siblings. For this year's gift exchange, we each drew a name and wrote stories about that sibling. At the party, we had to read our stories outloud to each other and laugh and discuss and eat a lot of cheese. Why does cheese eating always accompany these sorts of events?

Party# right. New Year's Eve, my husband sneaked out to go discuss philosophy stuff at the neighbor's house until 2 am. I stayed home with his parents, our new guests, and watched movies.

So all in all, my husband had a nervous breakdown, wilted like a little flower and made me promise never to flood the earth again with so much celebrating and merry making. It is a death for me. But alas, you are stuck to the person you marry, with no one to blame but yourself for falling in love.

My next huge event is the preschool Valentine's Day party at my son's school. I hope I don't blow it.